Exposed by my children for what I really look like

As I dive into 4 weeks postpartum, I have never been more disappointed in my looks. But…maybe it’s time for me to see myself the way my husband sees me. The way my son sees me. The way my friends and family see me.
Love this post.

Bridgette Tales

Flipping through the pictures on my phone, I see it.

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My first reaction is shock. Who took this hideous picture of me?

Self-loathing and disgust swell up and threaten to bring me to tears.

Just as I am about to hit delete, my boy walks in the room.

“Do you know anything about this picture?” I ask him.

I turn the screen so he can see it. He smiles huge.

“I took that of you in Tahoe,” he says. “You looked so beautiful laying there. I couldn’t help it mom.”

“You need to ask me before using my phone to take pictures,” I say.

“I know,” he says. “But mom, seriously, look how pretty you look?”

I look at the picture again and try to see what he sees.

My daughter walks over and takes a look.

“That could be a postcard mom,” she says smiling. “You’re so beautiful. I…

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25 Weeks

How far along?  25 weeks (as of 3/17/14)

Maternity clothes?  YES.  And now that the weather is starting to get better, maxi skirts are my best friend.  So stretchy!

Stretch marks?   All day, everyday.

Sleep: I’m trying to lay off medicine induced sleep.  Some nights are better than others, but I’m not waking up particularly exhausted or anything, so I’ll just keep trucking.

Movement: All the time and it’s the best, most wonderful feeling in the world.  I have just recently realized I can see my belly move, which is WEIRD and WONDERFUL.

Food cravings:  anything spicy or sour or doused in guacamole and salsa

Symptoms:  Round ligament pain like a boss!  And massive dehydration last week that has given me some headaches this week.  But I’m feeling much better!

Gender: A sweet baby boy

Baby is:  the size of a rutabaga, according to Baby Center…which, what the hell is that?  A root vegetable?  I’m trying to think back on all my Food Network marathons and I think it’s a big potato looking thing.  In any case, he weighs about a pound and a half and is a little longer than a foot, so basically ridiculously big ❤

Best moment this week:  So, I hesitate to say this, because you can’t come back once it’s in print…but I’m kind of a hermit.  Especially because of pregnancy.  After a long ass day of work, the last thing I feel like doing is hauling my fat self off the couch again to do something in public.  Plus, since we were stationed here in September, I’ve been working.  I have no time for fraternization.  Which is probably why I didn’t realize our neighbors were pregnant until this week.  And not only that, but they are being induced this Friday!  With a baby girl named Charlotte GAH SO CUTE.  It’s their first baby, too, and it’s my new mission to be best friends with them.  I will keep you posted on my progress ;D  (In addition to being a hermit, I’m a creep…)
 
Looking forward to:  SPRING BREAK, YOU’RE ONLY A WEEK AWAY

24 weeks update

How far along?  24 weeks!  WOOHOO viability! 😀

Maternity clothes?  mmhmm and very stretchy clothes…and bigger bras…(repeat)

Stretch marks?   All day, everyday.

Sleep: Only when I take a benadryl…

Movement: All the time and it’s the best, most wonderful feeling in the world.  A finally felt him moving, too.  Totally awesome.  Except when it feels like he is performing a stomp routine on my cervix…that is  not fun.  

Food cravings:  anything spicy or sour

Symptoms:  EMOTIONS ALL OVER THE PLACE

Gender: A sweet baby boy

Baby is:  Raylan weighs a little more than a pound and is about a foot long!  He is pretty skinny at the moment, but he will be fattening up in the next month 🙂  

Best moment this week:  I have really been struggling with my job recently.  The ridiculousness of public education is in the news everyday, so I probably don’t have to explain what frustrates me so much, but…it’s been a long couple weeks.  Today, however, was an awesome day though. 🙂  Reminded me why I chose to teach in the first place.  Hopefully the next 9 weeks have more good days than bad days.  Plus, the weather was on point today, for the first time in ages, and you can’t help but feel good when the weather is so nice.
 
Looking forward to:  Spring break!  I’m driving down to Baton Rouge to see my baby brother who works in a plant doing something so technical that I really don’t have a chance of explaining.  And I will get to see some extended family members.  They haven’t seen me since I was 8 weeks!  A lot has changed since then ;D  

22 Weeks

How far along?  22 weeks!

Maternity clothes?  mmhmm and very stretchy clothes…and bigger bras…(repeat)

Stretch marks?   All day, everyday.

Sleep: NO NO NO NO.  This past week has been rough on the sleeping front.  One night, I had horribly vivid dreams about tornadoes (PTSD from surviving an F5 in college), a couple nights, I just couldn’t get to sleep, and my nighttime peeing trips average 5 a night.  

Movement: Yes 😀  A couple nights ago, I couldn’t really feel him moving, so we pulled out the fetal doppler to take a listen.  He HATES when we peek on him with the doppler.  As soon as we find his heartbeat, he kicks the snot out of the doppler wand and rolls wiggles away.

Food cravings:  anything spicy

Symptoms:  I was doing a pretty good job taking care of my sciatica, but today was rough.  I had my classes in the library working on a research paper and I was all over the place, answering questions about MLA and works cited pages and the rest, so my back is killing today and probably will be for the rest of the week.  Constant sniffing and some pretty raging hormones that cause me to cry at the drop of a hat (which I despise).

Gender: A sweet baby boy

Baby is:  Raylan weighs a pound or so and is almost a foot long!  

Best moment this week:  Saturday, I chaperoned a field trip of sorts.  We took 150 high school kids to an event called Literary Rally at Northwestern State University in Nachitoches.  Despite the name, it covers all subjects from English and Math to History to Family Consumer Sciences to Choir to Theater.  Kids take tests or perform and compete with other schools in our area.  Winners go to State to compete.  Our kids did AWESOME!  So well behaved and just a pleasure!  I mean…they woke up at 5:30 am on a Saturday to be at school by 6 to ride a bus and take a test…talk about some GOOD children.  Theater is going to state as well as one of the soloists from choir!  We will here more about the subject tests later this week.
 
Looking forward to:  Sleeping.  But I’m starting to think that may not happen for another couple years…haha.  But really, I’m looking forward to Spring Break!  I’m exhausted.  I need a break from the multitudes of teenage hormones that ebb and flow all over the place all the time.

Monthly Appointment – Update

Today marks 21 weeks and 4 days and we had our monthly appointment at the lady doctor office.  It was a simple kind of deal, just a belly check and a quick listen to the heartbeat and whatnot.

Apparently I have an epic fundal height.  Oh you know, I’m a majestic pregnant beast.  But Raylan’s heartbeat was nice and strong!  It took the doctor a second to find it because he is so high, which she said is a little uncommon.  

In addition, Raylan is breech, which I’m not too worried about right now.  He was breech at the anatomy scan, too.  The doctor said there is plenty of time for Raylan to wiggle himself into the appropriate position, but that if he isn’t there by 35 weeks, we will schedule a c-section.  But like I said…PLENTY of time to roll over and get where he needs to be.  

If he is as stubborn as me, though, I might be in trouble…haha.

THINGS I’M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT:

Our crib is coming in next week!!!  YAY.  And my in-laws bought us our ergo we registered for and it arrived yesterday.  Super pumped!!!  Between the crib coming in next week and my parents heading to sticks n’ stuff today (apparently the one in Birmingham is closing?) to see what knick knacks and furniture they can snag for a deal, Raylan might have a pretty complete nursery within the next few weeks!  AWESOME.

I’m just feeling really great about pregnancy right now!  Everything (well…everything not work related, but that is a post for another day) is going wonderfully!  I love my little boy so much and I’m just counting down the days till he gets here.  

Valentine’s Day!

So…there is no piece of me that is super jazzed about Valentine’s Day.  I mean, it’s never been a huge holiday for us.  Usually we just skip over it because A’s birthday is the 15th, so we celebrate and go out then.  

But now that I’m pregnant, the idea of putting on makeup and doing my hair and staying out past 8:00 is nauseating.  And I HATE that, but I can’t help it.  Thankfully, I have the sweetest husband on the planet who understands.

Our Vday plans will include dinner and a movie (although I think I’m going to talk him into a redbox and chocolate covered strawberry fixings instead of the movie theater…because I can wear my snuggie…)

Share your Valentine’s Day plans!  (and make me feel totally pathetic about my insane desire to wear pants with elastic on one of the most romantic nights of the year)

I leave you all with this fabulous and hilarious Peanuts cartoon on love:

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Charles M. Shulz

What would you do with three wishes?

Daily Prompt: Lucky Star

Today is your lucky day. You get three wishes, granted to you by The Daily Post. What are your three wishes and why?

 

This is very similar to a journal prompt I gave the kids a few weeks ago.  They, of course, spent the majority of their time arguing how to gain more wishes.  Which makes me think…why aren’t three wishes enough?  It’s three more wishes than you had to begin with…some people go their entire lives without even knowing what a wish is!  Be grateful for your three wishes!

That seems to be the problem with that generation.  They are too quick to jump on something that requires no effort on their parts and then they try to buck the system, to increase their personal amount of happiness or money or whatever it is their goal happens to be.

Whatever happened to hard work and determination?  All of a sudden, things that are considered hard are suddenly not worth doing!  But oftentimes, the things that are hardest have the biggest reward.

Oh yeah, I would wish for a new vehicle (because mine turns itself off when I stop and my husband’s is a ’96 Dodge truck with paint peeling and a faulty transmission), safety and job security for my husband (I’m combining those to be one wish…my husband is an officer in the United States Air Force…the military is not very safe and secure at the moment…whether that is on the front lines or fighting the battle currently being waged in Congress), and  happiness for those I love (I think that is pretty self explanatory…).