When Raylan was 5 days old…

…we got his newborn pictures taken!  It was our first trip out of the house, and even though we didn’t leave base and the photographer’s house was only 15 minutes away, I remember how surreal it felt to drive around with a kid in the backseat.  (That trip home from the hospital had me evil eyeballing everybody in case they drove a little too feisty for my taste.)

We loaded up, headed over, and unloaded.  The back two inches or so of my feet hung out of my flip flops because they were so swollen (WATER RETENTION FROM HELL – they do not warn you in those baby books that if you are in labor for any extended period of time while at the hospital, they will PUMP you up with as much fluids as they can – my leg/foot swelling didn’t go down for two weeks!  It felt like walking on mushrooms…), I was rocking the muumuus because they didn’t touch my csection incision, and my hair was a hot mess, but how excited I was as I wobbled up the stairs to the photographer’s little studio!

Raylan was dressed in puppy pjs with buttons down the front for easy access and was sleeping off a full tummy…we had timed it perfectly!  Chalk up a victory for the parents because 9 times out of 10, Raylan is the winner.  In any case, we got into her studio (a little room in her house that was heated to feel like the surface of the sun, swear to God) and the photographer cuddled and loved on little man until, an hour or so later, we had HANDS DOWN the most gorgeous and amazing pictures that have ever been taken.  I realize of course that I am absurdly biased.

Check out some of our favorite pictures from our little baby’s photoshoot!  HUGE thanks to Daydreamer Photography by Carissa for capturing this special moment in our child’s life.

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I love love love my snuggly baby 🙂

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“10 Things New Moms Want to Tell New Dads” – The Clawson Version

One of my favorite things to do during my free time (besides stare at the kid and make sure he is still breathing…does the urge to do that ever stop?), is to hop on the trusty book of faces and see what newly published blog posts Scary Mommy has shared.  The articles range from serious to almost hilariously sacrilegious, but they always hit close to home, whether it makes me tear up or laugh my ass off.  Recently, however, they shared a blog post that I felt needed a few extra details, particularly as they relate to my husband.

See the original blog post below in bold and my additions in italics.

10 Things New Moms Want to Tell New Dads

1. You’re holding the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

But thank you for even WANTING to hold the baby.  Thank you for not being one of those people who freaks out when they come near an infant because they are squishy and fragile and squirmy and cry and poop.  Because when you went to work that one day last week to make sure America was still the land of the free and all that, he cried all day, and when you came home and held him so I could sit on the couch and do nothing, I wanted to jump your bones…but you know, we got that pesky 6 week wait…BUT I DIGRESS, THANK YOU FOR HOLDING THE BABY, even when I say, “OHMAHGAWD, WATCH HIS LITTLE FEET.” (As I’m typing this, you’re holding little man and trying to pinky promise him because, “we’re best buds”…I mean, really, you’re the best.)

2. You’re wiping the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

Seriously, you probably know better than me how to get all the little bits down there clean.  So I’m just gonna let you claim this victory, A.

3. You’re putting the diaper on wrong. Do it anyway.

Guilty.  I am guilty as charged.  But thank you for changing his diaper without even thinking twice.  I know it seems like I save the poopy diapers for you (and sometimes I do, not going to lie) and I know that once we were settled at home, I was sure to show you how changed his diaper like I was the diaper messiah (heads up, little man’s was the first diaper I ever changed), but I really do appreciate you.  And let’s be honest, you saved my ass in the hospital…I couldn’t hold him, couldn’t change his diaper…and you did ALL of that.  So thanks, you’re my pal.

4. You’re burping the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

I’m sorry I birthed the gassiest child on Earth – not that you’re surprised, because you are married to the gassiest woman on Earth.  Burping the baby is like a SPEC OPS mission that sometimes goes horribly wrong.  It can end in a series of burps, hysterical crying, sharts…who really knows what the final outcome will be, and that goes for when I burp him or you burp him.  I will say, though…DON’T CRUMPLE HIM UP ON YOUR CHEST, HOW DO YOU EXPECT THE GAS TO GET OUT.

5. You’re bathing the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

Hmmm…you should bathe the baby.  I will update after I witness it. 

6. You’re pushing the stroller wrong. Do it anyway.

Is there a wrong way to push a stroller?

7. You’re feeding the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

Yeahhhhhh…I’m bad about this one…”you’re holding the bottle wrong,” “watch the air bubble,” “blah blah blahhhhhhh.”  Thanks for feeding the baby.  Thanks for getting up at night with little to no grumblings to feed the baby.  Thanks for sometimes taking two feedings in a row so I can get an unprecedented amount of sleep.  All in all, if food is getting in the tummy, all is well!  But for real, watch that air bubble…

8. You’re dressing the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE YOUR BIG MAN HANDS ARE PUSHING TOO HARD ON M BABY’S HEAD WHILE STUFFING HIM INTO ONESIES.  But thanks for dressing him anyways, even when you know I’m going to make a comment about it.  I can’t help it.  

9. You’re soothing  the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

Thanks for trying to soothe him when he is crying and we have done everything else in the world to make him stop.  If he doesn’t stop crying, toss him over.  Sometimes, a man just needs some boobies to cuddle into and a sweet voice to sing to them.  Not that you’re doing it wrong, necessarily, but I have some pretty decent assets to use for bouncing, snuggling, and loving on the little baby.  Thanks for trying, anyways.

10. You’re singing to the baby wrong. Do it anyway.

Your voice is so deep…do you think he likes it?  Is it scaring him?  No?  He’s giggling?  Oh…well…carry on.

Please.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

P.S. We have no idea what the hell we’re doing, either.

Really, I don’t, and it helps that we are making up the rules together.

 

 

Head over to Scary Mommy to check out more parenthood hilarity!

Life with a newborn – Day 17

Little baby is 17 days old and what a 17 days it has been!  So far, things have been going pretty well!  At least…I think they are.  I mean, I’m a first time mom and flying by the seat of my pants, but everybody in the house is still alive, so I say HELL YEAH, things are going AWESOME!

One thing I find surprising about this whole thing is how…ok, I’m going to use the word “easy” and people will look at this blog post like I’m crazy, but really…I’m surprised at how easy it has been to settle into this weird and wonderful new life.  Yeah, sometimes Raylan cries, and I have no idea what to do (in these instances, I basically just cycle through all the go to things…we eat, bounce, walk, burp, change diaper, pop in a pacifier..still crying?…REPEAT!!) and diapers leak and everybody nearby has to change their clothes (scariest part about caring for a newborn?  Squeezing a onesie over their soft little melon heads…really), but all of that is just newborn stuff.  If you didn’t expect to be exhausted or you’re mad because you have to carry an extra shirt for yourself in your purse, then I don’t know what you were expecting.

But for us…for me…it’s been…well…easy(ish).  It’s been a smooth(ish) transition.  It feels natural to wipe his little bottom and bounce around the bedroom until he stops crying.

My fear is that the harder parts are coming.  But when/if they do, we’ll handle it the best we know how.  Because that’s what parents do.  And I will just continue to pretend like I have a clue what’s going on.

ANYWAYS, let’s check in with Raylan at 2 weeks old!

Baby’s Stats:  We headed to the doctor on Wednesday for his two week check up.  At birth, Raylan was 6lbs even and 18.5 inches.  Just two weeks and some change later, he is clocking in at 7lbs 5oz and 19.75 inches!  I’m overjoyed he is growing like a little weed…I’m also desperately sad he is growing like a little weed. hahaha, I cannot be pleased!  I will say, having such a little baby has offered some challenges, so there is a certain peace of mind and ease offered just because he is a little bigger, physically.

Eating:  Due to a whole host of problems (another blog post, another day), we are pumping and supplementing using bottles.  I can’t see the pumping lasting too much longer.  I was very sad about it at first, but now I’m mostly relieved.  In any case, Raylan is eating about 2oz every 2 hours or so.  Recently, he has been requesting more after a feed (hunger cues: sucking on hands, whining, rooting, holding face) and I will offer another ounce.

Clothes:  Newborn sizes!  It will be another couple weeks, at least, before we move up, I believe.  I wasn’t prepared for having such a tiny baby, so we basically run through the same 10 newborn onesies because I refuse to buy more.

Diapers:  Newborn size and target brand!  We received pampers swaddlers from the hospital but after a few days, we noticed that suddenly he was leaking like a boat with a hole.  We finished up with the packs we were given and while on a target run, snagged some more diapers.  They work great so far!  I am a little concerned, though, because we have a shit ton (an exact measurement, I know) of pampers swaddlers in sizes 1-3, and if they leak as well, that will not work.

Sleep:  Recently, napping alone hasn’t been such a success during the day.  He really likes to be held, which I don’t mind at all (I hate doing the dishes anyways, I really didn’t need an excuse to not do them) so most daytime naps occur in my arms.  At night, he typically sleeps anywhere from 2-3 hours.  Not terrible, but I’m looking forward to longer stretches!  Generally, he is pretty easy to be put down, as long as he is full and dry.

Routine:  Daytime is a total crapshoot.  I just do whatever Raylan wants when he wants.  We feed on demand, do diaper changes after every feed (and sometimes before), and we nap after diaper changes (or try to).  I’m enjoying that he is more aware and having longer awake periods, though!  I could stare into his eyes for hours.  (Why yes, my husband does all the cleaning.)  As far as nighttime goes, we bathe around 8:30, put on a diaper, get lotioned up, have a bottle, get dressed and swaddled, a little bit of snuggle time and then he goes in the bassinet on his pack and play, which is currently in our room.

My thoughts/emotions:  The first week of little boy’s life, I was a mess.  Baby blues hit me hard.  Mostly, I was so overwhelmed with how much I loved my little man and the kindness of my family (my mom specifically) in the week after his birth, that I was just a weepy, sad little thing.  I’m feeling much better now!  As he gets a little bigger and I get more confident in myself and my husband, I am finding that each day I wake up a little less weepy than the day before.

Mom’s Stats:  AIIGHT, I’M ABOUT TO AIR ALL MY DIRTY LAUNDRY.  LET THIS SERVE AS A WARNING TO YOU.  I gained 40 pounds.  Which isn’t TERRIBLE.  (But it’s mostly donut weight.)  The problem is, I wasn’t a spring chicken when I started, and truthfully needed to lose 20 pounds before getting pregnant.  So the math there is 60 pounds.  SWEET LORD, 60 POUNDS.  60 pounds that sometime in the next year or so need to vacate my body.  So far, I’m down about 25 pounds, which leaves 35 pounds or so.  I’m feeling pretty good, csection wise.  There is still some tenderness and I will get a sharp pain if I move a little too crazy, but it’s not bad at all and I haven’t taken any pain meds for a week.  I’m really looking forward to being cleared for exercise!  I’m not huge into working out, but if you had a flabby tummy like this, you would want to hop on a treadmill, too.

 

And that’s that!  Here’s to another week of having no idea what I’m doing but pretending I do!

First Bath!

Due to the alarming amount of cheese Raylan was trying to grow in his neck fat, as soon as that umbilical cord stump (nub? piece? bit? cling on?—>lol, cling on) fell off, it was time for a REAL bath!  He had mixed feelings about it…

Pre-bath...I think he knows what's coming...

Pre-bath…I think he knows what’s coming…

SPURNING MY KISSES.  This is my favorite picture so far in his two weeks of life hahahaha

SPURNING MY KISSES. This is my favorite picture so far in his two weeks of life hahahaha

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All clean!

All clean!

Cheese be gone!

Cheese be gone!

 

Things I noted:

-the second you have scrubbed all the nooks and crannies, he will pee all over himself, so keep an extra rag over his manly bits to mitigate this risk

-we have a heater in the bathroom, so we kicked that on – that, combined with the warm water, made for a happy-ish baby after the initial deluge

-NEWBORNS ARE SLIPPERY BOOGERS WHEN WET, PROCEED WITH CAUTION

-follow up with a baby massage with lotion, a meal, and some snuggles to get a couple hours of sleep out of your almost 2 week old

All in all, it was a success!