When I was in college, my roommate and I used to grab some Jack and have a ball watching the Golden Globes, not caring that we had class the next day. It was one of our few nights we lived up to the college girl stereotype and we did it with style. Fast forward a couple years after college and I’m pregnant and on my second piece of cheesecake, so things are a little different. While I still have class tomorrow (this time, I’m the teacher) I wanted to sort of relive my over exuberance over the Golden Globes. So here goes! Live blogging the Golden Globes!
Hosts: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler…HOLY SHIT, Tina Fey, yes. You are smoking. That dress. And that hair. And that makeup. Om nom nom. In other news, this introduction has lasted quite a while…Poor Tom Hanks; his awkward face over the prosthetic genitals comment. LOL, “I am the captain now,” stop that, Tina.
My husband is in love with Sandra Bullock. Not that I’m complaining, I am, too.
Supporting Actress on the big screen: So many great choices! Jennifer Lawrence is a silly bitch, but I’m glad she won. Her dress looks like the dress Ariel made when she washed up on the beach after getting her legs.
Supporting Actress on the little screen: I haven’t heard of Dancing on the Edge, and was totally pulling for Sofia because big butted women have to stick together, but the reaction of Jacqueline was amazing. 🙂 I love heartfelt emotions even more now as a pregnant lady. <The music is playing, HURRY!!>
Best mini-series or TV movie: If American Horror Story doesn’t win, I quit…SON OF A BISCUIT. No cigar. Maybe I should get real cable so I can watch all these shows that are on HBO and Showtime and the like…Behind the Candelabra? Never heard of it. Which probably just proves that I’m too impoverished to be as cultured as I should be.
Best actress mini-series or TV movie: JESSICA LANGE PLEASE JESSICA LANGE. NO?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I think Jessica Lange is amazing. Elizabeth Moss…is it bad I only recognize her from Get him to the Greek?
Matt Damon, snazzy as always. “It’s me, the garbage man…who didn’t bring his glasses.” I chuckled.
I wonder if the teleprompter really messed up…whether it was planned or not, still cute and silly.
Best actor in a TV series drama: A is pulling for Bryan Cranston. Andddddd….he called it! I never got into Breaking Bad, which puts me in the 1% of Americans who didn’t watch it. To be fair, when we were trying to catch up on all the seasons on Netflix, I was working 50-60 hour weeks running a summer camp…and sleep was more important than watching Breaking Bad. I hope to start it again soon!
Best TV series drama: Got a rousing “yeahhhh” from A after Breaking Bad was announced the winner. Hmmm…this was much more intense when my roommate and I were well into our jack and cokes…MORE CHEESECAKE!!
I REALLY want to see Philomena. And I think that is phenomenally special they brought the real Philomena on the Golden Globes. 🙂
Kate Beckinsale…flawless. P. Diddy, silly. Usher…Usher, Usher, Usher!
Orignal Score – motion picture: Alex Ebert – All is Lost. He looks like he was just electrocuted! I appreciate that bed head look. I also appreciate this story about the party boat story with Diddy. What an eloquent speech…all over that guy’s movie.
Original song – motion picture: Pulling for “Let it go” because it doesn’t get better than Idina Menzel. Fact. Damn…”Ordinary Love” takes it. Maybe I should stop guessing…I have been wrong literally every time. Oh, U2…what are y’all talking about? Catholics unite! Bono + dysfunctional love stories = Nelson Mandela? All joking aside, and on a total unrelated note, my students hardly knew anything about Nelson Mandela. That was absurdly depressing to me. Apartheid was a word in a foreign language to them. I tried to draw connections to the Civil Rights movement in America to Apartheid. We talked about how their lives are now, hearing stories of segregation from grandparents and great grandparents and then tried to imagine what their lives might be like had racism been a legally protected right until the ’90s. It rocked them a bit. Good. That’s what education is for. To rock the boat.
BACK TO THE GOLDEN GLOBES!
Supporting actor – tv series, mini-series, tv movie: Jon Voight. He is getting to that age where his skin looks papery and you are afraid to hug him too hard. Props to him for being such a bad ass despite the fact that he is wearing a scarf with his suit! He is a pretty phenomenal actor. “I’m as nervous as everybody else!” hahaha ❤
I REALLY want to see “Her.” It looks absurdly interesting. What a creepy and yet not wholly unbelievable premise!
Best Actress in a motion picture: I LOVE AMY ADAMS, FINALLY, I CALLED ONE!!!!!! I want Amy Adams to narrate and sing a soundtrack to my life.
Amy as Randy – oddly attractive and hilarious…and reminiscent of the attitude I get in the classroom! ;D
Best actress – tv series: I really need to watch House of Cards. I’m going to start a list of things I need to watch after this baby comes out.
Jim Carrey never left his awkward phase. He GOT me with that Shia joke, though…”so young, soooo wise.”
Best supporting Actor – motion picture: Jared Leto…woah. *shrugs* ok.
Emma Thompson is my ABSOLUTE favorite. ABSOLUTE. Holding her shoes and alcohol and shit.
Best screenplay: Spike Jonze – Her. I’m cool with this. No particular opinion either way.
Can they make another Jurassic Park? Thanks.
Best actor – tv series…and I wasn’t paying attention to type the rest of it: Jim Parsons. Give him all the awards. Look at that face. ANDY SAMBERG. eh. HE SHOOK LEONARDO DICAPRIO’S HAND. I WANT TO SHAKE LEO’S HAND.
Best foreign language film: I love foreign films and do not watch nearly enough of them. After a class of Italian literature and movies, Italian art particularly holds a special place in my heart. Glad an Italian movie won!
Melissa is my favorite.
Best actor in a tv series, mini-series: remember that time Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were married? I do. They still are in case you were wondering. Still weird.
Best animated film: Frozen! I have heard nothing but amazing things! Proud!
Best actress in a tv series, comedy: no matter who wins, I think Amy Poehler takes the cake for the Bono back rub. AWWWWWWW AND SHE DID WIN!! And then made out with Bono…ew.
Aiight, Diane Keaton…be gone.
Best director: does anybody care about this award? I know I should, they worked their ass off to make this movie…but…whatever. The gravity director won, btw.
Best tv series- comedy: Brooklyn 99, literally the only one of those options I have not seen. Let’s call this award show “awards to the obscure mixed with enough non-obscurity to keep you watching.” I fully understand this is more about my lack of knowledge and less about the Golden Globes, but I still like to bitch.
Best Actor: (finally, the good shit!) LEO!!!! I have an irrational love of this man. And I don’t care who knows it. Hubba Hubba!
Drew Barrymore…why did your friends let you out in that dress?
Best comedy or musical: American Hustle. No surprise.
Best actress in a drama: here I am singing Leo’s praises and he goes off and says “philomania” like this is some kind of WWE smack down…but props to Cate Blanchett! Does she ever age? She is flawless.
Best Actor – drama: “you caught Osama bin laden,” A says as Jessica Chastain walks on stage. Whenever I think of Matthew McConnaughy, I always think of this article I read where he said he didn’t wear deodorant.
and finally, best motion picture drama: 12 Years a Slave. Good! They have been up for many awards and didn’t take any home! Glad they get to take this one.
There goes the golden globes! Time for pregnant teachers to hit the sack and wish when they wake up in the morning they had gone to bed earlier!